I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
