Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
