I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
