I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
