I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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