The maid of honor just puked.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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