i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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