Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Found the puke drawer
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
