i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
