he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
