i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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