i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
