Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
