So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
