Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
