Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
false alarm, still single
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
