In the future we'll all be gay
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
