i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Say something about gay babies.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
