My liver just broke up with me...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
