In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize