fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
