I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
