Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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