I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
