No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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