3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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