I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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