oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
