I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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