He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
