Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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