i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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