Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
