the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
