i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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