I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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