if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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