I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
