let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
