I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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