One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
