shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
