if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
