if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
