Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
