everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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