I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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