Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i will never coherently bang her
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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