Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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