So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
