I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
