how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
