So drunk its hurt
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am midnight drunk by noon
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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