i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
